i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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