I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
