Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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