If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
no. you can't hotbox the world.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize