he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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