Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
