the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
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