I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
