so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize