Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
