I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
