I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize