I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
