sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Randomize
