My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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