Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
thus making me awesome and them whores
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
