is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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