i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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