He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
