Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
you win again, gameday.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
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