Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
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