she takes plan B like it's going out of style
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
