Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize