yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Randomize