I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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