Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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