He had one of those small greek statue penises
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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