And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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