I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
