Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
it's like heaven, but drunker
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
