i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize