Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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