Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I'm both gender and math confused
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
