what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
