Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize