You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
my liver is dry heaving
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
