As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
