its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
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