i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize