wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
