I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
