He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
He called his prostate his "boner button".
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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