so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
