ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
