Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
