Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
