Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
