just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
