halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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