My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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