you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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