You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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