ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
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