I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
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