Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
