So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
