So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
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